As I mentioned in my last post, Polyvinyl is doing this thing where they send you seven random 7" records for ten bucks. They promised they wouldn't send repeat records or repeat bands, however I got THREE Of Montreal 7" in my batch. This really got me thinking about how much I hate Of Montreal. I don't really know why. I think it has something to do with the feeling I get that they're trying to do some sort of "we're pop! But we're weird too!" thing (this is also kinda why I dislike Animal Collective). Really though, I don't think I have a good reason for hating Of Montreal. I've probably listened to them a handful of times without paying much attention. I also like to think that I'm not one of those music nerds who spends much time thinking about terrible bands, because who cares right? With that said, Of Montreal occupies a special place in my brain where I know that my own ego will prevent me from ever enjoying their music. I don't care if they have good songs, or if I'm being unfair. I just want them gone.
My first instinct was to destroy these but that seems wasteful. I could trade them but that seems like a lot of effort. Then I thought that maybe I could use these as cheap payment to get more content on my blog without having to put much of my own time/thought/effort into coming up with something myself. So that's what I'm going to do! This post is a contest. Write something vaguely related to some or all of the following prompts and I will mail these to whoever submits the best entry.
1) Come up with a story about my youth. Include a traumatic event that explains why I can't enjoy music like this.
2) Write about a band you hate for no reason.
3) Write about how annoying 7" records are.
4) Something about bands with annoying band names (such as beginning your name with the word "of").
5) Any other random prompt you feel like writing about.
I want to stress the arbitrary nature of this contest. No minimum length or rules whatsoever. The only thing I really don't want is anything that talks about why I'm wrong, or why Of Montreal isn't terrible. I don't care. Send all entries to either the comments section of this post or email to dorktwinkle AT gmail dot com. All three 7"s have been played exactly once and still have usable download codes. Contest ends...whenever. This week sometime. Runner up prizes TBD.
I don't want your 7" Of Montreal vinyls, but I like competitions.
ReplyDeletePrompt 1) Your bloody penis: self explanatory.
Prompt 4) Prompt 1 reminds me of my all female shoegaze band, "My Bloody Vagina", which is a name I both love and hate, but mostly hate, for obvious reasons.
Prompt 5) I'm not in a band. I, like you, hate most bands, including my own.
2 - I love of Montreal. I don't hate many things (i'm too noncommittal for that) but i feel terribly ambivalent about: neutral milk hotel, radiohead, phil collins, mos def, most things.
ReplyDelete3 - 7"s suck, it's just enough time for you to put the record on and settle into reading/socializing/napping/dog petting before you have to flip sides or choose something else. it sux. that being said, i'll take still yr 7"s.
4) too many consonants, not enough vowels, see: Nguzunguzu, strfkr, MSTRKRFT, SBTRKT, XXYYXX, Dntel, etc
See also making sentences one word (pop punk what are you doing): alexisonfire, Playradioplay!, etc.
I spent all of ages 12-14 wondering if it was alexis on fire or alex is on fire. dumb.
Hi Christie! Hi Max!
2. Loads of them but they have to come up first before I can burst forth with reactionary hatred that confuses even myself. I guess I, like you, don't spend much time thinking about them or why I don't like them. Primus.
ReplyDelete3. Hate them, don't want your 7"s. Too short, have to flip, my turntable's drive band falls off when you turn the speed from 45 to off to 45 again. Works fine for 33 to 0 to 45. So, when it's time to flip a 7" I have to take off the heavy platter, put the rubber band back on, then start it back up.
I wasn't planning on responding to the prompts, just wanted to say how exciting it is that there's a blog with my friends in it. Now my coffee's oversteeped. Hey all! Disregard my rant - don't want your records.
I don't want the 7s but I enjoy a nice social rant with friends
ReplyDeleteMore annoying than bands that start with Of are bands that are phrases (I'm just making these up): Where we go from here, Lying above my granny's attic, The last thing I said to my son, Whose pants am I wearing, A thing we should have buried etc. What is that shit. The only thing more idiotic than saying that name aloud is the look on their faces when they came up with that name. Rant 2.0: stylized names. I don't want to have to figure out whether there are ellipses, random capitals, symbols, or fuck-what in your name. Make it simple so I can read it and organize it and search it on the internet correctly.
Christie: I dislike your graphic band name.
While I understand the need for variety and different tastes in modern music, there is a certain band whom many like that I will never be personally able to enjoy. I just find this band to be the epitome of everything which is bland, off-putting, and displeasing. It is rude, uninteresting, and a wonder why this band is even around. This band, is of course, Regis Philbin. Now, some might say that Regis Philbin is not a “band,” per se, but I would consider him to be a “band” of all the elements which make up an unlikable person. From his unspeakable, self-absorbed sense of vanity to his snappy, rude, inconsiderate conversation mannerisms, Regis Francis “Rx Philbicillin” Xavier Philbin (talk about pretentious band names!) is one of the worst influences on today's up-and-coming musicians! I heard a nice young lady once asked him for the time of day. He proceeded to pull out a pocket mirror, lick his thumb, spent a minute combing his eyebrows with it, then told the lady, “I don't have time to tell people like you the time of day.” I know my hatred for Regis Philbin may seem a bit unreasonable at times, but come on! Who does that!? So yes, Regis Philbin is a band I hate for no reason.
ReplyDelete