Monday, January 14, 2013

How I Cook My Steaks



I thought it might be fun to do something a little bit different over here at the HHH. I consider myself a decent+ cook in general but I really make a mean-ass steak. And I'm a modest guy! Now that I'm a young single yuppie I have both the means and the empty Saturday evenings to do all the experimentation and write this thing up.

The first step is to buy a nice steak. It should be as thick as possible with big veins of fat running all around and through it. Feel free to buy something a little pricier. You work hard, and you deserve to treat yourself. Take it home and just leave it on the counter for awhile so it's at room temperature when you're ready to cook it. Sprinkle some salt and pepper on each side and pat everything in. It should make a satisfying slapping sound. If you're afraid of room temperature meat or whatever then lighten up. Go drink a beer in the other room and steel yourself. Also this may be a good time to take the batteries out of all your smoke detectors. 

You're gonna want to turn your oven to the highest temperature possible. You may be able to short out your thermostat to really take things to the limit. Use your imagination. Open up your bottle of wine and pour a glass. Turn on some music.

Now that your oven is up to temperature put an oven-safe pan onto your stove and turn it up as high as it can go. I use a cast iron skillet and it's awesome. Pour a little bit of grapeseed oil (or similarly high smokepoint oil) into your pan and let it roll around and get hot. Just when it starts to smoke put the meat on. Flip it once at one minute. Don't move it at all or touch it in between. After the second side sears put the whole pan and steak into the oven and do another  90 seconds on each side. Take everything out and let the steak sit covered for another 10 minutes. Maybe crumble some blue cheese on top. Do you want to use this time to make a side dish? I don't care what you do, but it sounds like a good idea. You'll never find a blog post on this site about side dishes. This is a good opportunity to forget that your pan was just in a 500 degree oven. Grab the handle with your bare hands and then immediately recoil in horrible pain. Every time! Open up the windows in your kitchen and air out all the smoke.

This will make a medium-rare steak. You might need to play around with the cooking times. I've halved everything I just wrote and made a pretty delicious rare steak if you've got the stomach for it. My gut tells me that this would make a good date dinner but I really have no idea what women like or what they enjoy eating. If you're a woman (or you just know a woman) and have any thoughts re: things you like, please contact me. I'm guessing the trick involves getting her to drink some red wine beforehand so that the rest doesn't matter.

1 comment:

  1. Great method - I cook my steak in the same way. Don't be childish and add all sorts of A1 sauce to the meat afterwards as these sorts of things aren't needed on a good steak.

    I have a simple seasoning I use on red meat that I'll share with you:

    -Squeeze half of lemon on one side of steak.
    -On the same side, apply a light layer of "Accent" (also known as pure MSG). I'm talking 1/4 tsp or so.
    -Follow the MSG with Garlic Salt (more liberal application this time).
    -Finally, add the crushed black pepper (also, a liberal coat). Pat everything down, flip the steak, and repeat. Do this after 1-2 hours before the meat comes to room temperature.

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